New Start!

I am so excited about this new start! We are doing a Healthy Life Challenge, and I feel like I am up for the challenge. My goal is to lose 30 lbs by July 7, 2009.

It's Over

Well, the competition is over. I am 20 lbs lighter than I was three months ago. I have made some progress and need to continue on to making more progress. I need to feel the fire of success again. I'll continue blogging while I try to keep losing weight.

Chugga Chugga

I'm chuggin' along here and feelin' pretty good. Just wanted to check in. Oh, and this has nothing to do with weight loss, but I have to tell a story of something that happened today.
Dimitri and I were driving past some really pretty horses, and I said, "Oh, look, Dimitri! Horses! They are so beautiful!" He said, "They're not beautiful. YOU are beautiful." It was the sweetest thing. I just about cried! How sweet. Anyway, I just wanted to post that because it made me so happy. What a sweet boy.

It's so good

It's so good to have this blog. It's so nice to have a place that's all my own that I can write whatever I want and still have great support from my family and friends. Because, after all, my family members are some of my dearest friends. This blog is a good way for me to stay connected with myself and what I am facing. I really feel like this has been a big part of the success that I've had. It's fun to be able to look back and read what I've written. It's interesting to see where I've been, where I am, and where I hope to be going. I am the kind of person that just about always has a sunny attitude. I think that's just the way God made me. I'm generally pretty happy and really do try to see the good in just about every thing and every situation. I am so grateful for that attribute. I hope to strengthen that as I continue on in my life. I am wearing some clothes today that I WOULD NOT have been able to fit into 3 months ago. What a great feeling that is. I can't wait until these clothes are just too big (even though they are really cute! Thanks, Anna!) It was fun to talk to Cean tonight about the fact that I only have 5 more sets of 20 lbs to lose. When I look at it that way, it really doesn't seem like that much to lose. I can manage bits of 20. :) I guess I just want to tell everyone who reads my blog and who has ever commented on my page: THANK YOU!!! Thank you for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself whole heartedly. Thank you for loving me even with all my imperfections and downfalls. I love knowing that I always, always, always have a soft place to land with my family. I feel so blessed. One thing that I have absolutely LOVED about this process over the past few months is being able to read other peoples blogs. It's been very helpful and insightful for me to be able to read what you all have written. It's been a source of strength for me. The last couple of days I have been thinking about Doug's blog: To Act and Not to be Acted Upon. I love that! That is something that I still need a lot of work on, but I am trying to get there. This past month and a half has shown that I clearly have a lot of work left to do on mastering that. I also liked something that Jeff wrote earlier on the other blog. It was something to the effect that he loves being able to choose right now what his mindset will be. We do have the power to choose how we will feel. I think that there have been times that I have forgotten that altogether. I DO have the power to choose. So, thank you again to all of you. I know I didn't mention every one of you individually, but please know that I love and appreciate you so very much. You have brightened my world and helped me to be a better person. Not just in the past couple months, but always. I am eternally grateful for the blessing of my wonderful and loving family. Thank you. SF, you have commented on my page, and even though you are not my sister, I do appreciate your confidence in me so much. Thanks!

Finally!!!

I did it! I finally lost 20 pounds! I'm so excited! I didn't reach my goal of 226.6, but I feel so good about finally losing the first 20 pounds, that I just can't be upset about not reaching my other goal. I called Cean at work to tell him and he was really happy for me. It is a big deal to reach that mark. I still have a lot more to lose, but the first 20 are down!!! Yay!!! So, let's see, I only have another 5 sets of 20 to get to my overall goal.

Joy

I am finding JOY! I love the quote that Kristina posted on our other site. Here it is:

"Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourself to a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is lost." -Helen Keller

Remembering

I remember back when I lost 60 lbs when we lived in Colorado. It was so awesome to be able to fit into smaller clothes! I actually got down to a size 16!!! I was very excited and felt good about myself. When we found out about Cean's health, I lost control of everything and gained all of my weight back and more. It seemed like things spiraled out of control from then on. Over the last several years, I have attempted to lose weight, but I have been unsuccessful. I have learned a lot about myself over the past couple of months of this competition. While I was doing a great job at the beginning of this competition, I had a major road block (emotional stress) in the middle and haven't been able to bring myself back from that. I let someone else and a situation that had nothing to do with my weight loss control me. I have learned that I am stronger than I thought. I can come back and do well. I know that I won't win this competition, but I do know that I can still keep my head in the game and I can continue forward. My original goal was to lose a very large number. I was shooting towards a loss of 50 lbs! I have had to alter my goal for this competition to a weight loss of 30 lbs. I think that is still a great goal. And, I am really going to try to reach that. That means that by the end of the competition, I need to be at 220.6. I will do my best to reach that goal, if not surpass it. I have decided that I will continue on with my weight loss even after this competition. There has been talk of another competition, and I want to be a part of it. It is helpful for me to have a support group when I am doing something that is so hard for me. It surprising how emotional it is for me to be on this weight-loss journey. There is a lot that I still need to learn and a lot of weight to lose, but I think that with the right support and with the plan that works for me, it will happen.
One of the most important things that I have learned is that Heavenly Father is always there to help me not matter what I need help in. Lately, I have needed help in forgiveness and understanding. I also need help with self control. There have been many times that I have been driven to my knees in searching for guidance and for help and encouragement. I have received it every single time I've asked. I know that I can be successful in my life. I really need to remember that I am a precious daughter of God.
My name is Janie Gwen Marks Smalls, and I am a successful, happy, person. :)

Lip Service, Lip Service, Lip Service...

That's all I feel like I've been doing! Is lip service! I've been talking about doing a great job and winning and all that other stuff, but it's just been lip service! I think that when I write things or say things, I really mean it, but when it comes down to actually doing it, I guess I don't mean it. I've been at the same weight (with a few ups and downs) for the past month! Enough! No more lip service, more DOING!!! I really want to fit into all the clothes that Anna sent me! They are so cute, but some are too tight.

Winning Attitude

Since the beginning of the competition, I have had a winning attitude. But, for the past few weeks, my focus has shifted and I've had a very difficult time dealing with some things that have been going on in my personal life. Anyway, I have another 5 weeks to win this thing! I am going to win. I really think that I can do it with enough hard work and determination. I am planning on winning this. My weigh in today was less than desirable, but the next several weeks will be very pleasing! :)

Whewww!!!

Wow! I'll tell ya! These past several days have really been somethin'! Somethin' STRESSFUL!!! I am so glad that today I am beginning to feel more like myself. It's amazing what stress does to ya. I'm doing my best to remember my blessings and to focus on the positive. I keep telling myself, "Come on, Janie, hang in there." I actually did look at myself in the mirror today and gave myself a pep talk. It felt good to see and hear someone telling me good things and being motivational! Even though that someone was me! :) Hee hee... Okay, here's to another day! I am the little engine that could! Oh, by the way, after my little pep talk, I did have a little chuckle with myself. Ha ha ha ha!!!!

Uh oh

I'm starting to feel sick. I really hope it doesn't last. The stress that I have been feeling has caused me to lose sleep and have a very poor appetite. I took some Tylenol PM tonight in hopes of a good nights sleep. I had a wonderful walk today. It helped me to clear my head and it felt great to have that movement. We're supposed to have rain on Monday, so I'm glad I was able to go out today. As far as eating goes, it was not perfect. But, tomorrow is a new day and I plan to be perfect tomorrow.

Hard

I had a hard day today and I didn't have a perfect day. I did drink all my water, but I didn't eat nearly enough food today. I just haven't felt like eating today. I know I need to, but my appetite has been gone today. I've got to deal with my stress better.

So good, so far!

Today was a great day for me. I did everything that I feel classifies a perfect day for me. I'm really excited about reaching my 10% weight loss. That's 25 lbs!!! I am looking forward to going to the spa! I've been looking forward to that since December! I decided though that I would wait until I had lost 10% of my body weight. I'm getting close to that. Now, I'll have to think of something great for my next 10% weight loss reward! It's funny, the first thing that I think of as a reward is going out to dinner. Hmm...food, food, food...I do eat a lot of food and that's good, but I don't always want to think of that as my reward for doing something well or right. I think the spa thing is a great incentive for me. I'm glad Cean gave that to me for Christmas! The other thing that will happen when I get to my 10% point is posting my progress photo!!! That is going to be great to see the picture side by side! I know that I've made some good progress and it'll be fun to SEE the progress in a photo.
Well, while it has been a good day, it's also been an emotionally charged day. I am ready to go to bed and rest my mind and my body. It seems like the past couple of weeks have been very trying for me. I just need to remember what is most important in life and keep my focus. I am so grateful for the family and friends that I have that are so supportive of me. I feel that that has been a huge part of my own personal success with different things in my life. Specifically with this time around of losing weight. I was telling Cean tonight that my routine is becoming second nature. I don't have to think so hard about what I'm going to do during my day, or what I'm going to eat. I have always kind of "suffered" through a change in my diet or physical routine, but not this time. That's why I know that the weight that is coming off is going to stay off. I am doing things that I can do the rest of my life. What a great feeling to feel in charge of something! There are so many things in life that are beyond my control. So many things that I wish I could control. At least I can control how I treat myself and how I think about myself. I can control my actions towards others. I can choose who I want to be. I have control of the progress that I do and do not make. Hmm...I guess there are quite a few things that I do have control over. :)
Okay, now I'm ready to hit the sack. Nighty night! :)
Oh! PS Jeff, I really liked how you changed "so far, so good' to "so good, so far". Thanks!

Uh huh!

Uh huh, oh yeah!!! I'm having a perfect day! It's happening and I feel great! Thanks for the challenge, Anna! :) And, thanks for the clothes!!! I got them today! I don't think I'll be able to wear most of them right now, but I will be able to wear them very, very soon! Yippeeee!!!

Biggest Loser of the Week (3rd time)!

This is sweet! I am the biggest loser of the week again! I had a big gain last week and vowed to not have that happen again! I'm glad that I'm back down to almost losing 20 pounds! I hope to get into the 220's by next weigh in. I'm pretty sure that I can do that! I'm really excited to get down some more! Yippeeee!!!! Anna is sending me some clothes that are too big for her. I'm really excited to get them because Anna has such great taste in clothes! I know I'm going to love them! I am going to enjoy them as long as I can wear them! But, I am hoping to not be able to wear them for long! :) I'd like to get to the point where they are too big for me too! I'm on my way to my overall goal for this competition. I am a week behind because of my gain last week, but maybe I can make a comeback! :) I'm certainly on my way. I noticed that with the stress that I have been under for the last while, when I eat right I seem to handle it better. I seem to be able to cope because my body is nourished so then my mind is nourished. Anyway, I'm ready for this next week. Anna challenged everyone else in the competition to a perfect week. I have decided to join her in that challenge. It's fun to not weigh 250 anymore! It's a great feeling!

Happy Day

I'm still doing how I wanna do things! I am finally feeling better and have more energy!!! I think all the junk I ate last week is finally out of my system! It feels good to be healthy! Happy Valentines Day!

Back In The Saddle

I just realized something! Through all the years of trying to lose weight and yo-yo dieting, I have never come back so quickly from having a majorly huge mess up! Never! This is really something! Last week was just so raunchy and now I'm totally back in the saddle and rarin' to go! I have to say that I am really proud of myself for picking myself up, dusting myself off, and continuing on. I feel great! I really do! I didn't quit! I didn't just give up and say, "Oh, well, I can't do it anyway." I can do it! I am doing it! :)

Staying Strong

I've been doing well these past couple of days. But I've got to keep going strong if I want to win this competition. Actually, I need to keep going strong so I can make it to my goal. I want to keep up momentum, so I can blow past the deadline for this competition and continue on my way to losing more weight and becoming more healthy. I will be successful.

Thank Goodness For A New Week!!!

Okay, so I had that long blog that was a pep talk to myself, but I didn't follow through! I made very poor choices this week and it definitely shows in my weigh in! Holy cow! Does it ever show! Anyway, I was getting really frustrated and down on myself when I realized that just because I had a horribly week, it doesn't mean that I'm a failure. I knew that I was making poor choices, and I decided that those were choices that I wanted to make. Now, of course, I wish I hadn't made them, but on the other hand, now I can have a great comeback! :-)
On Sunday, we had our ward conference and in YW the Stake YW Pres. talked about exactness. She said that if we have a goal of saying something nice to someone every day for 2 weeks and we forget to do it for a day, does that mean that we just say, "Oh, oops. I missed up, I guess I'll quit." NO! It doesn't mean that. I decided to apply her talk to my life. It seems that I usually start really strong with something, losing weight, and then after about a month, I just kind of stop doing it for one reason or another. Anyway, I realize that I don't have to quit just because I had a bad week. There have been some HUGE things that have happened this past week that are way out of my control, but I want to fix them. I have found that I've been really stressed out about some of these things and I felt like I didn't have the energy to fix something good to eat or to exercise. But, I sure had the energy and the time to make cookies! Okay, so here I am so, so, so grateful for a new week. I am ready for a new start. I'm glad that we still have some time before this competition is over! I still have my goal in sight, and I am going to try my best to reach it.
Thanks for your comments on my blog everybody. And thanks for your encouragement and your belief in me. I really appreciate it.

Something Unexpected

So, when something unexpected comes up, what do you do? Hmmm... What did I do? For the first time in a month, I had an encounter with emotional eating! And I gave in! Rather than going for a piece of fruit or a yummy veggie, I went for a cookie! (Rather a few cookies) I just kind of let go of my vision for a little while. I knew at that moment that I wasn't making a wise choice, but I did it anyway! It's been about a month since starting this Biggest Loser competition, and I feel like I've done pretty well. As of weigh in on Tuesday, I had lost almost 20 pounds. It seems like whenever I do something to try to get healthy, I do a great job at first and then kind of fizzle out. Well, I've got news for myself! NOT THIS TIME!!! I am not going to just quit because I've had some mess ups this week. NO WAY, DUDE! I'm not a quitter. I am a go getter. When I see something I want, I go for it full force!!! I believe in myself. I know I can stick with it. I will not let myself down again. I refuse to quit. I like what Anna put in her blog the other day about what Jeff has said, "Fail Fast." I know that I didn't have a major catastrophe with my eating, but I can do better. I can have my motivation to keep this up. I mean, come on, I've lost almost 20 pounds! Why would I stop now! When I was younger and I didn't do well in school or was having a problem with something, Dad would tell me about the man that ran the race. He started the race and he was coming in dead last. He didn't quit though. He kept running! Even though he was the very last one and everyone would have understood if he quit, he didn't! He didn't quit. I will continue on. I think that one of the reasons why I've been having a hard time is because I see how far I have to go to the finish line. I've still got about 100 pounds to lose! When I think of it like that, it is very overwhelming. Maybe I should take it a day at a time. Or maybe a week at a time. I need to remember my goals that I've have set and keep them in mind. So far, I've lost almost 10% of my body weight. That is great! I need to lose about 50% overall! Yep, I need to focus on the smaller goals. I had a goal of losing about 20 lbs in a month, and I almost reached it. I knew that it was a goal that was going to be really hard to reach, but I almost did reach it! This IS going to happen for me, and I'm the only one who can make it happen. I'm off to a good start, and I'm going to keep it up. I always tell everyone else to keep up the good work. Well, Janie, Keep up the good work! :)
(I know that this blog has been a serious pep talk for myself, so thanks for reading!)

Ready, Set, Go!

Okay, here we are in a new week! I did pretty good last week. There are a few things that I need to change, but not too much. I have been more active and have really benefited emotionally from that. My life is still really busy, but I don't feel as stressed as I did before. I'm raring to go this week! Of course, I have a lot going on, but I'm ready to face it with a smile and courage! I have a goal of becoming closer to the Lord and I think that by being healthy in body and mind, my spirit will be healthier too. Okay, here I go! Off to a new week! :)

Following a Good Example

Last night I ate dinner really late. I ate so late because we were so busy and I wasn't able to start making dinner until almost 7:00! I had nutritious food, but it was just too late to be eating. I have decided that I'm going to try to follow Sherry's example and not eat past 7:00. If I get hungry later one, then I'll have a small snack, but I really want to have my main meals done by 7:00. I hope that helps. I guess the good thing about last night is that I could have had a quick something that wouldn't have been as good for me, so to me, it was worth it to fix a good dinner. I just don't want to eat that late again. Usually, we eat shortly after Cean gets home from work. Hmmm...I'll have to try to do that even if our days are crazy busy! :)
Dimitri and I are going to go to the park today! Fun, fun, fun! It'll be fun to have that to look forward to!

Plans!

Another day has come and gone, and once again, I am feelin' GOOD!!! I love the energy I have! I want to move, move, move! Dimitri and I had our dancing time together this morning, it was fun!
I have noticed a difference in my skin. Having my good oils every day has really helped my skin to be softer and I don't have to be putting lotion on constantly to keep my skin smooth. Thanks for asking about that, Mom! :)
So, I have a few new things to report! :)
First, when I win this competition, I am going to buy myself a new wardrobe! I'm really excited about that!
Second, when I lose 10% of my body weight, I am going to use the spa package that Cean gave me for Christmas!
I've got two things to really look forward to! :)

PS When I say, "When I win..." I have to do that so that I actually do win! I am visualizing it in my mind! I can see it happening. I can see myself healthier and smaller! I can see it!!! Of course, I want every one to do a fantastic job, but I want to win!

Veggies!!!

I just got home from mutual and the meeting we had after mutual as YW and YM Leaders. Anyway, on my way home I thought, "Oh no! I didn't have all my vegetables for the day!" I only had one serving of veggies when I should have three or four! So, as I am typing this, I am eating my veggies! I hope that eating this late doesn't have negative affects on me! :) I guess I'll take that chance. Plus, I am hungry. Anyway, now I know that I've had all my good oils, my veggies and everything else that I need to nourish my body!

Biggest Loser of the Week!

I'm the biggest loser of the week!!! I'm excited about that! I've been so happy for everyone else that's been the biggest loser of the week, but it feels good to see my name next to the congratulations sign! :)
So, today, I did well. Our day started early and is ending late. I knew it was going to be a long day, so I made sure to eat my good food and to remember to think positive about myself. I had a board meeting tonight with my young women presidency and my advisers. I knew that there would be yummy food there, and I wanted to set myself up for success. So, I made a veggie platter. I didn't feel like I was left out because I didn't have a muffin (even though they smelled and looked sooo good!). I had my beautiful veggies and enjoyed every last bite! I had some red and orange bell peppers, cucumber, celery and grape tomatoes. It was really tasty! Anyway, I feel good about my choices today. At our board meeting, I told the ladies that we are all examples to the young women that we serve and teach. It is up to us to be a good example or a bad example, but regardless, we are examples. I have been thinking about that in the form of being an example to Dimitri. I am an example and it is my choice if I want to be a good or bad example. I choose to be a good example to him. I choose to treat my body the way that it needs to be treated. For so long, I have mistreated my body by feeding it things that were not healthy. I am so grateful that I have the power to choose what I will and will not do. I will be a good example and I will treat my body with respect.

Doin' it the right way

Yesterday, Cean and I went to Joey and Naries for dinner. It was a nice time. Joey and Narie know that I am eating healthier and really taking good care of my body. When Narie offered juice for the drink, I asked for water. That was no problem. When we finished our dinner, she was getting the dessert ready for all of us. I let her know that I'd like to pass but that it looked really yummy (and it did!). Anyway, I was so glad for the understanding on their part. I was glad that I was able to graciously decline. I felt good about doing that and am happy about it today. I have not always been very good at doing that. Before I would just take it because it was offered or it just looked too good to pass up. Anyway, that's my story for yesterday.
I decided when we first started this competition that I would focus on eating correctly before adding any type of physical activity for the first month. In the past, I have always had a very hard time with eating correctly. I either eat too much of the wrong food, or I eat way too little of any type of food. I have been really focusing on learning what makes me feel good and what foods burn the fat. So, I have had a pretty fun time with discovering new things that I can make and enjoying it. There have been a few things that I have discovered that I DO NOT want to eat again. But now I'm eating things that are so delicious to me. It's been really refreshing to me to be able to sit down to a nice meal and eat all of it and enjoy every single bite. I used to think that I had to eat as little as possible to lose weight, but now I'm learning that I need to fuel my body so that I can lose weight and still be very healthy. I feel healthier now than I have in a long, long time. I have learned all of my new knowledge from Mom. Thank you so much, Mom for taking the time to teach me and help me to know what's best for me.
It's just about been a month since we started, so now I'm going to incorporate some physical activity into my routine. I feel good about doing that now. I have naturally been more physically active just because of feeling so much better. I WANT to move. I feel like I CAN move. So many times before I have gone about losing weight the wrong way, but now I am going about it the right way. I eat 5 or 6 meals a day and I'm always feeding my body what it needs to succeed. The past couple weeks, I haven't had a great weigh in, but I plan to have a good weigh in tomorrow. I know that there are tough weeks and great weeks. I'm committed to pushing through each week--even when it's hard.
I like reading what other people put on their blogs. I think it's great that there are so many of us that are really striving to be healthy. I'm glad for the support hat I feel, and I hope that everyone else feels my support for them. We are all on the right road to being more healthy.
Here's to continuing on.

YES!!!

I am down a pant size!!! I'm down a shirt size!!! Yipppeeeeeee!!!!!!!! I am so excited that my body is really getting smaller! I have been feeling so much better, but I didn't realize that I was actually losing so many inches! Hooray! When I got dressed this morning, I had to wear a shirt that I hadn't worn in a long time (it was one of those shirts that I only wear if ALL my other clothes are dirty because it's too small). Anyway, I put it on and it was too big! So, I found another shirt that was tight when I bought it last year or the year before and it fit! It was comfortable! :) After having success with my shirts, I decided to try on my pants that I haven't been able to wear for a long time. Well, I got into those just fine! I tried them on last week, and there was no way I was going to fit into them, but today I could! Yippeeee!!!! Progress is being made!
Oh, and I totally did a victory dance in my closet! I was dancin' and singin'! I had to do it quiet because everybody else was asleep. I totally celebrated though!

Mission Accomplished!

We had some friends over for games tonight and I knew that they were going to be bringing something to eat--something that I have decided not to eat. Anyway, I knew it would be tempting, so I fixed a veggie tray! I didn't put too many on there, just cucumbers and red peppers. I wanted to have something to eat too while they were all eating their goodies. It surprised me how easy it was to not have any of what they were all having. It looked yummy, but I knew that if I ate it, I wouldn't feel very good tonight or tomorrow. Anyway, I had my cucumbers and red peppers and thoroughly enjoyed it! Surprisingly enough, our friends even had some after they were done with their dessert! Cool! I'm so happy that I passed that test! I know that is one of MANY tests that will come my way. I didn't feel as awkward as I thought I would--eating veggies and all. :)
PS I am DETERMINED to report a loss this week. I don't know how big the loss will be, but there WILL BE a loss! :)

Nourishment

I have been noticing the past couple of days that I am feeling so good! I'm feeling like myself again! I've not lost much weight, but I feel healthier. Since my surgery in '07 it's been kind of a hard road and I've either been in pain or tired or both. Anyway, I'm just starting to feel like I can actually live my life in comfort. I think that there is a mental shift going on in my head. I tell myself almost daily that "I am healthy, I am happy, and I am successful." The power of thought is so strong. I am what I believe. I know that some of the health problems that I've had in the past were very, very real, but I am very, very ready to be healthy!!! I'm on my way! I'm on my way to being even healthier, happier and more successful. I loved what Jeff put on his blog about today being a gift. Each new day is just that "new". I get to decide what I'll do with that gift. There is no need for me be hard on myself for past mistakes, I can be who and what I want to be today! Thanks again for posting that, Jeff.
I have been really enjoying what I'm eating. I actually LIKE vegetables! Who would have thought? Not me! I've always been the one to take as few as possible--sometimes none. I am finding that they taste good to me now. Wow, that's really something!
I decided today (actually I think I decided a while ago) that I'm not in this for just a few months. I am in this for a long, long time. I love how I feel. I love feeling healthy and energetic. I feel like I can get so much done in my day because I am nourishing my body with the correct foods. I think that when I nourish my body correctly, I am also nourishing my spirit and my mind.

Git 'er done

I'm staying on track--eatin' what I should, thinkin' how I should, and actin' how I should. :)

Up and Down, Down and Up!

Well, my weigh in today was disappointing. I was bummed that it was what it was. Yesterday when I weighed, I was 239.8! I was really excited that I'd be able to report a loss, but today it was 242.2 Bummer! Well, I am going to keep at it and not let a few numbers mess with my head and mess me up. I'm determined to stay strong and keep going with this. I am feeling better and feeling the effects of eating well. So, it might not show on the scale, but I do see differences. I'm going to keep my positive outlook. Here's to another week!

What's up?

Okay, so this week I have been eating really well for the most part. I've had a few hiccups here and there but nothing major. Anyway, I'm thinking that I should be losing some weight, right? Well, I got on the scale today and it's more than it was when I weighed last week! Of course, it's not much more, but it's more! I guess it can change from day to day. I sure hope it goes down by Tuesday! I'll keep hangin' on! So, to get to where I want to be, I have to lose like 43% of my body weight! Holy Cow! Okay, so I shouldn't let that freak me out. I just need to take it one step--one day at a time. I can do this. It's going to happen. It has to!
I am going to be going to girl's camp in June and a Laurel camp out earlier that same month. I really, really, really want to feel like I can contribute and have fun! I've got to lose this weight! I CAN DO IT! I WILL DO IT! I AM DOING IT!
I know I've said that all before, but I am giving myself a pep talk here! :) I'm doing a pretty good job, I might add. :)
Okay, so here's to another week of hangin' on and loving the journey! This IS going to happen!

Perfect Day

I had a perfect day today! I ate everything I should, and I feel really good. I am tired, so I'm going to hit the sack. I just really wanted to write that I had a perfect day! Cool!

Glad to be back

I'm glad to be back home! It was such a nice visit that I had. It was very good for me to be able to get away and have my own time to think and ponder and visit and have a TON of girl time! I loved it! I ate pretty well while I was gone. I feel pretty good about how I'm doing as far as eating right. My energy is really doing great! I am so impressed with how my body is using the foods that I'm eating to give it energy.
Cean, Dimitri and I went food shopping today. We're all stocked up with yummy good food to eat!
I have such a feeling of support from a lot of people that are doing this challenge with me. It's great to feel so supported.
I'm ready for a new week and I'm looking forward to weighing in on Tuesday. I have decided to make a few small adjustments to my meal plan. I'll see how that goes.
You know, I think I know one of my favorite things about deciding to eat and be healthy. I love feeling like I am in control. I control when and what I eat. I think about what I'm eating and do my best to give my body the fuel it needs to run as smoothly as possible. I love being in control of what I'm putting in my body. I know that before I was in control also, but I was making such poor choices and felt so gross all the time that I didn't really feel like I was in control. I guess there is a difference to having control and being in control. I've got control and I am in control. :)
Well, I'm off to have my afternoon snack. Yum, yum!!! I love those braeburn apples I got!
I saw the commercial for Turbo Jam! I totally want it! Looks like a lot of fun. I think Anna and Rich both have it. I want it too! :)

Janie's Thoughts

I haven't blogged for quite a while, so I guess I better get blogging! Kristina is letting me use her computer. Thanks! :)
I am at a scrap booking retreat. It's nice to have this time with my sisters, Mom and two nieces. It's very nice.
I have been eating the foods that are best for me and have been wishing we had a scale here, so I could see if I have made progress. I really think I have, but we'll see.
Last week on the biggest losers website, I posted that I was going to be the biggest loser of the week! Hee hee hee....I spoke too soon! But, I am pleased to announce that Jeff, my oldest brother, was the biggest loser this past week. I knew he would do really well. He's always been an inspiration to me with continuing to try. I am very proud of him, and I hope that I can follow his example and be the biggest loser next week! :) I guess we'll have to see about that, too.
I am feeling excited to going back home to Cean and Dimitri. I have so enjoyed having this time to do whatever I want whenever I want, but I am really missing my boys. :-)
I have been thinking about the positives of getting down to a healthy weight. Some of the things that I've thought of are: I'd have more energy, I wouldn't be embarrassed to meet other people, and I'd be able to play more easily with Dimitri. I would be able to go shopping for clothes in the regular shopping area rather than having to look for the "PLUS SIZE" section. I wouldn't have a double chin! Anyway, those are just some things that I will enjoy when I get down to a healthier weight. I have noticed that I have said a couple times to myself, "I hope I can do this. Can I do this?" Before I was saying, "I know I can do this." I think that I need to kind of refocus on having more faith in myself. I do believe that I can do this, and I want to do this. I feel that I owe it to myself to be successful this time. There have been so many things that have happened to me because of being overweight, that I don't want anything else to happen that makes life so much harder for me. I know that there are challenges in life no matter what size you are, but I think that as I get smaller I won't be in as much pain from past surgeries and issues that I've had. Anyway, now I'm just rambling on and on and on......Until next time.

Return and Report

I liked having my meals planned out. It was a good thing. Even though I didn't eat exactly what I had planned, I still ate the right foods. I like planning it out because then there is no last-minute decisions to make. I did not drink all of my water yesterday...Uh oh... I did have about 5 minutes of "me time". I had a chance to lay on my bed for a few minutes. It was short lived, but at least I had some time. I have been so tired. The stress that I have been feeling has really been catching up to me. I hope that it doesn't have a negative impact on me and my numbers! I am doing my very best to keep a positive attitude and to hang in there. Today was a little hard for me. I was not focused and I didn't eat nearly enough. I didn't drink enough water either. I am feeling it now because I have a headache. My body was really liking getting enough water, and it hasn't had it today...Hmm...I will have to really work on that. I like drinking a lot of water, but I was gone a lot today and so busy that I just didn't think about eating or drinking. I didn't even realize I was hungry until it was about 7:30 tonight. Kind of strange I know, but that's the kind of day I had. I do need to be consistent though. I am not getting down on myself because, so far, I have been doing a great job with sticking with it and doing what I'm supposed to. I'm not going to let one day ruin it for me. I have no idea what my weight loss will be this week, but I am still going to try to have a decent loss. I am going to be weighing in on Monday rather than Tuesday, so that will cut me a day short. I am okay with that, because it all works out in the long run anyway. I am so tired. I feel like I need to really have some time just for me. I am really looking forward to going on this retreat with my sisters and precious mom. I love getting together with my girls. I will miss you, Anna! I wish you could be there...maybe next time. Even though I am tired and stressed I am still happy and I do have a positive attitude. I will keep it up. Things always have a way of working out. Well, I fly out tomorrow, so I'll probably blog tomorrow night. Whoever reads this, good luck this weekend!!! And thanks for reading! :)

Something different

So, today I decided that I was going to plan out my whole day, as far as eating goes. I'm excited to see how it goes. I have been doing really well with my eating, but I thought this might be a good thing to do. Especially as time goes on, I need to make sure I stay focused. I do not want my energy and good attitude to fizzle, so having a plan is smart for me. I'll see how today goes and then see if I want to do this more or go back to planning every meal just before I eat it. :) (I guess that's not really planning.)
I've had some extra stress in my life lately and have been doing my best to cope with it. I think that by eating the right foods and having a positive outlook on life and on myself as a person has really helped.
My goals for today are to drink all my water, follow my plan for eating, and take some time just for me.
Here's to another great day!

Feelin' good!

Well, I made it through another day! It was sooooo busy and hectic, but I drank all my water and ate all good foods! I fixed a yummy meal for my family for dinner and even though it was a busy day, I had plenty of energy to last me! I watched my sister-in-laws kids today and I had so much fun playing with all of them. It was great to feel like I could play and not be totally stuck to the couch. I can't believe what a difference I feel. I've only been eating better for a little over a week and have lost just 7 lbs. It really is amazing that I feel so good. I love feeling this way. I got to talk to Mom on the phone today and it was so uplifting. It was fun to talk about the different foods I'm eating and how I've been feeling. I told her that I noticed that I've been nourishing my family this past week. I really have been nourishing them, so this journey is not just for me but for my little family as well. How does that saying go? "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Well, I'm happy!

I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I can!

Another day of doing things the way I should! I feel good about my day today. I was so excited to see my progress as far as weight loss for the past week. It's amazing what eating the right foods will do! My plan for this next week is to remain focused and continuing to eat healthy foods. I really like having breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks between. I drank all of my water again today! It wasn't as nearly as hard as yesterday. I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to do it again, but I decided to give it a shot today--I'm glad I did.
I know I can do this! I know that I can reach my desired weight. I know that I have the power to change, and I AM CHANGING!
I KNOW I CAN!!!!

Down, down, down, goin' down, down, down

I lost weight this week!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! I really focused on eating right and it paid off! When I weighed this morning I was down 7.2 pounds! So, now I'm at 243.4. Talk about great incentive to keep it up! I've got to stay focused so I can continue to lose weight and continue on my journey of becoming a healthier, prettier me.

Water, water, and MORE water!

Holy Cow!!!!!! I did it! I drank 128 oz. of water today! I am so excited I reached my goal today! I decided this morning that I wanted to set myself up for success, so I measured 128 oz. of water by using my purple nalgene bottle. Kristina and Anna, it is more fun to drink out of something pretty! Anyway, I had to drink 4 of those in order to reach my goal. I filled up a pitcher full of water and my nalgene bottle twice. That is A LOT of water! Besides having to go to the bathroom more times than I can count, I had a GREAT day! I am really excited about tomorrow's weigh in. I hope I do a great job. I do know that I have had a really good week and I plan on continuing this staying-on-track thing. I believe I can do this.

New Day!

It's a new day! I woke up to several inches of snow! Cool! It's totally windy outside and really white! The kids outside waiting for their bus look freezing cold! I'm glad I'm in here! I'm glad it's a new day today. I like what Kristina wrote on her blog. She feels that she'll have a better week because it'll be Monday all the way through the whole week. I think it'll be a great week, too. I am really excited about our weigh in tomorrow. It'll be fun to see the progress made. It's been so nice to be able to talk to Cean about all of this. It's nice to have a sounding board. I feel really good about what I'm doing and will continue to do this, but it's nice to bounce ideas off of Cean. As far as what we'll have for dinner and the things that I've eaten throughout the day. My goal for today is to drink 125 oz. of water. That is A LOT of water but that's my goal. I won't be going anywhere until later this afternoon, so I can really be focusing on that today. Here's to another successful day!!!

Good day, Long day...

Wow! Today has been a long, long day. I've had a good day, but I am very tired. I ate good foods today and feel so good about keeping it up. I have so appreciated the comments that I get on my blog. It's so nice to know that I have people that are following my journey and being so supportive. I find that I really need that to help me get to where I'm going. I am totally committed to this and feel so glad that I was finally able to be committed. When Kristina first approached me about this "biggest loser competition", I thought that it was a good idea, but it wasn't right for me right now. For some reason, something clicked and I decided that it was the right time. I am enjoying the benefits of eating right so much! I love having more energy and feeling more confident in myself. I guess I have more confidence in myself because I am exercising self control. There have been so many times before when I would be in the grocery store and walk by the candy isle and pick up some candy just because I wanted to have it on hand if I had a hankerin' for chocolate later on. Now, when I go in the store, I still walk past the same isles, but I no longer feel like I need to but the chocolate just in case. I think because I am keeping myself well-fed throughout the day, I don't need to fill up with sweets. I have noticed that I have more focus than I did before. It's been fun thinking of new meals I can cook for my family. I love eating better! What is different than any other time that I've tried to lose weight is that I am actually eating! I eat so much throughout the day--it's crazy! I am always satisfied, never stuffed and never starving. It's amazing that it's not even been a week yet, and I already see little or big differences here and there.

Great day!

I've been feeling great today! I've been getting a lot done and really enjoying myself. I have noticed that my digestive system is thanking me for eating better foods. I am amazed at what a difference it makes eating the right foods. I have enjoyed fixing my food so much more than before, because the food I eat is so pretty! I enjoy sitting down to a well-rounded meal. I've done and excellent job of eating the right foods today. Tonight we are going to have steamed spinach, brown rice, and Turkey Tenderloins for dinner. Yum! It'll be finished in about 15 minutes! I have been slacking on my water intake. I have got to figure out a way to make sure I drink enough water. Kristina told me that it's a good idea to drink half your body weight in oz. of water. I really want to do that. That would be about 125 oz of water a day for me. Wow! That's over 15 8oz. glasses of water a day! I have got to do that! I think I'll feel even better than I do right now. Well, I have LOVED drinking my Odwalla Juice with a T. of flax oil. It is so yummy! It is so important for me to have good foods surrounding me--then I'm not tempted to eat the junk. I am feeling really good about the positive thinking that is going on in my mind. I have really been focusing on being positive (that's not too hard for me). I think that what we think is so important. Anyway, I'm off to go eat a yummy meal!

Feelin' good!

Cean and I went to dinner with Karlina, one of my young women that watched our dogs for us while we were gone for Christmas. We went to Olive Garden--my favorite restaurant! I LOVE IT!!! I usually order the Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo, but tonight I decided to order something different. I ordered the Stuffed Chicken Marsala. It was so good! I ordered that because I didn't want to have the pasta and the problems that I get after eating it! Anyway, moving on, It was a great meal, for eating out, and I didn't order any dessert or any soda. I had water! Speaking of water, I have NOT been drinking enough water. I need to be drinking a lot more than I have been. I think that's my goal for the next several days before weigh in. I want to be able to flush out all the nasties that are in my body. I had a bad sugar withdrawal last night and a bit today, but not too bad. My head is a little sore, but it's been worse before. I've been eating a lot these past few days. I eat several meals throughout the day. I always thought that I wouldn't, couldn't, be one of those people that had snacks throughout the day, but I find that I rather enjoy it. My body lets me know when I am hungry and when I am full. For so long, I've just been eating whatever whenever and now that I'm eating throughout the day and just until I'm full and waiting til I'm actually hungry, I can tell a difference in my energy and mood. I am happier and am getting a lot more accomplished in my day. Well, that's it for today. I hope I sleep well tonight. Dimitri came in our room at 1:00 a.m. and didn't get back down to bed until 2:30!!! I am kind of tired. :) But, I'm feelin' good!!! I'm happy that I'm stickin' with what I planned to do to achieve better health.

The title says it all!

So, I am starting this new blog because I want to be able to share my thoughts and be able to refer back to them later. I also am doing this to create an even stronger support group for myself. Anna and Kristina have both posted blogs, and I like what they've done, so I decided I wanted to do it, too.
I am on my way "again" to becoming a prettier me. I have been thinking about what to name my blog for a few days now and the song from "West Side Story" kept coming to mind. I have such a desire to be healthy and pretty. I do think that I'm pretty, but I think that I can be more pretty as I get more heatlhy. I like the title of my blog because it is so positive. I really and firmly believe that we are what we think. I think I am pretty therefore I am pretty. I think I am healthy therefore I am healthy. Even if I'm not as healthy as I need to be, I am making it happen.
When Cean, Dimitri and I were home for Christmas, I was looking through some of Mom's scrapbooks and saw several pictures of me when I was in high school. I couldn't believe that at 130-145 lbs. I actually thought I was fat! I actually thought I was ugly! Wow. Not anymore. Now I look at the pictures that think, "If only I were that size again." Of course, it's not all about the size, but I'll tell ya, I'd rather be a size 10-12 than size 24! Anyway, it was good to look at those pictures and remember when I could run, and play and wear clothes that looked good on me.
I have a strong desire to be a good mom to Dimitri and I am a good mom, but I think I can be an even better mom as I get more healthy. I plan on being around a long time and seeing Dimitri grow and learn and have his own life experiences. I want to be a part of that. I want to be able to really live my life. I am so ready to be the real me!
So, I say, "I feel Pretty! Oh, so pretty!" I"m on my way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!