Joy

I am finding JOY! I love the quote that Kristina posted on our other site. Here it is:

"Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourself to a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is lost." -Helen Keller

Remembering

I remember back when I lost 60 lbs when we lived in Colorado. It was so awesome to be able to fit into smaller clothes! I actually got down to a size 16!!! I was very excited and felt good about myself. When we found out about Cean's health, I lost control of everything and gained all of my weight back and more. It seemed like things spiraled out of control from then on. Over the last several years, I have attempted to lose weight, but I have been unsuccessful. I have learned a lot about myself over the past couple of months of this competition. While I was doing a great job at the beginning of this competition, I had a major road block (emotional stress) in the middle and haven't been able to bring myself back from that. I let someone else and a situation that had nothing to do with my weight loss control me. I have learned that I am stronger than I thought. I can come back and do well. I know that I won't win this competition, but I do know that I can still keep my head in the game and I can continue forward. My original goal was to lose a very large number. I was shooting towards a loss of 50 lbs! I have had to alter my goal for this competition to a weight loss of 30 lbs. I think that is still a great goal. And, I am really going to try to reach that. That means that by the end of the competition, I need to be at 220.6. I will do my best to reach that goal, if not surpass it. I have decided that I will continue on with my weight loss even after this competition. There has been talk of another competition, and I want to be a part of it. It is helpful for me to have a support group when I am doing something that is so hard for me. It surprising how emotional it is for me to be on this weight-loss journey. There is a lot that I still need to learn and a lot of weight to lose, but I think that with the right support and with the plan that works for me, it will happen.
One of the most important things that I have learned is that Heavenly Father is always there to help me not matter what I need help in. Lately, I have needed help in forgiveness and understanding. I also need help with self control. There have been many times that I have been driven to my knees in searching for guidance and for help and encouragement. I have received it every single time I've asked. I know that I can be successful in my life. I really need to remember that I am a precious daughter of God.
My name is Janie Gwen Marks Smalls, and I am a successful, happy, person. :)