New Start!

I am so excited about this new start! We are doing a Healthy Life Challenge, and I feel like I am up for the challenge. My goal is to lose 30 lbs by July 7, 2009.

It's Over

Well, the competition is over. I am 20 lbs lighter than I was three months ago. I have made some progress and need to continue on to making more progress. I need to feel the fire of success again. I'll continue blogging while I try to keep losing weight.

Chugga Chugga

I'm chuggin' along here and feelin' pretty good. Just wanted to check in. Oh, and this has nothing to do with weight loss, but I have to tell a story of something that happened today.
Dimitri and I were driving past some really pretty horses, and I said, "Oh, look, Dimitri! Horses! They are so beautiful!" He said, "They're not beautiful. YOU are beautiful." It was the sweetest thing. I just about cried! How sweet. Anyway, I just wanted to post that because it made me so happy. What a sweet boy.

It's so good

It's so good to have this blog. It's so nice to have a place that's all my own that I can write whatever I want and still have great support from my family and friends. Because, after all, my family members are some of my dearest friends. This blog is a good way for me to stay connected with myself and what I am facing. I really feel like this has been a big part of the success that I've had. It's fun to be able to look back and read what I've written. It's interesting to see where I've been, where I am, and where I hope to be going. I am the kind of person that just about always has a sunny attitude. I think that's just the way God made me. I'm generally pretty happy and really do try to see the good in just about every thing and every situation. I am so grateful for that attribute. I hope to strengthen that as I continue on in my life. I am wearing some clothes today that I WOULD NOT have been able to fit into 3 months ago. What a great feeling that is. I can't wait until these clothes are just too big (even though they are really cute! Thanks, Anna!) It was fun to talk to Cean tonight about the fact that I only have 5 more sets of 20 lbs to lose. When I look at it that way, it really doesn't seem like that much to lose. I can manage bits of 20. :) I guess I just want to tell everyone who reads my blog and who has ever commented on my page: THANK YOU!!! Thank you for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself whole heartedly. Thank you for loving me even with all my imperfections and downfalls. I love knowing that I always, always, always have a soft place to land with my family. I feel so blessed. One thing that I have absolutely LOVED about this process over the past few months is being able to read other peoples blogs. It's been very helpful and insightful for me to be able to read what you all have written. It's been a source of strength for me. The last couple of days I have been thinking about Doug's blog: To Act and Not to be Acted Upon. I love that! That is something that I still need a lot of work on, but I am trying to get there. This past month and a half has shown that I clearly have a lot of work left to do on mastering that. I also liked something that Jeff wrote earlier on the other blog. It was something to the effect that he loves being able to choose right now what his mindset will be. We do have the power to choose how we will feel. I think that there have been times that I have forgotten that altogether. I DO have the power to choose. So, thank you again to all of you. I know I didn't mention every one of you individually, but please know that I love and appreciate you so very much. You have brightened my world and helped me to be a better person. Not just in the past couple months, but always. I am eternally grateful for the blessing of my wonderful and loving family. Thank you. SF, you have commented on my page, and even though you are not my sister, I do appreciate your confidence in me so much. Thanks!

Finally!!!

I did it! I finally lost 20 pounds! I'm so excited! I didn't reach my goal of 226.6, but I feel so good about finally losing the first 20 pounds, that I just can't be upset about not reaching my other goal. I called Cean at work to tell him and he was really happy for me. It is a big deal to reach that mark. I still have a lot more to lose, but the first 20 are down!!! Yay!!! So, let's see, I only have another 5 sets of 20 to get to my overall goal.

Joy

I am finding JOY! I love the quote that Kristina posted on our other site. Here it is:

"Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourself to a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is lost." -Helen Keller

Remembering

I remember back when I lost 60 lbs when we lived in Colorado. It was so awesome to be able to fit into smaller clothes! I actually got down to a size 16!!! I was very excited and felt good about myself. When we found out about Cean's health, I lost control of everything and gained all of my weight back and more. It seemed like things spiraled out of control from then on. Over the last several years, I have attempted to lose weight, but I have been unsuccessful. I have learned a lot about myself over the past couple of months of this competition. While I was doing a great job at the beginning of this competition, I had a major road block (emotional stress) in the middle and haven't been able to bring myself back from that. I let someone else and a situation that had nothing to do with my weight loss control me. I have learned that I am stronger than I thought. I can come back and do well. I know that I won't win this competition, but I do know that I can still keep my head in the game and I can continue forward. My original goal was to lose a very large number. I was shooting towards a loss of 50 lbs! I have had to alter my goal for this competition to a weight loss of 30 lbs. I think that is still a great goal. And, I am really going to try to reach that. That means that by the end of the competition, I need to be at 220.6. I will do my best to reach that goal, if not surpass it. I have decided that I will continue on with my weight loss even after this competition. There has been talk of another competition, and I want to be a part of it. It is helpful for me to have a support group when I am doing something that is so hard for me. It surprising how emotional it is for me to be on this weight-loss journey. There is a lot that I still need to learn and a lot of weight to lose, but I think that with the right support and with the plan that works for me, it will happen.
One of the most important things that I have learned is that Heavenly Father is always there to help me not matter what I need help in. Lately, I have needed help in forgiveness and understanding. I also need help with self control. There have been many times that I have been driven to my knees in searching for guidance and for help and encouragement. I have received it every single time I've asked. I know that I can be successful in my life. I really need to remember that I am a precious daughter of God.
My name is Janie Gwen Marks Smalls, and I am a successful, happy, person. :)